Do you want to have a Happy marriage?
Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems.
Do you take your marriage for granted? About 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher[i]. For Singapore, Channel News Asia[ii] reported that 2016 was not the best for love, with fewer people getting married and divorce at a 10-year high, as statistics on marriages and divorces for 2016 show. From the previous year, divorce rate went down, while the number of marriages went up in 2017. The divorce rate in Singapore fell while the number of marriages increased last year, according to figures released by the Singapore Department of Statistics[iii]
(Singstat). The department further stated that there was a total of 28,212 civil and Muslim marriages registered in 2017, 0.9 per cent higher than the previous year. Couples who were married for five to nine years accounted for the largest share (30.2 per cent) of all divorces in 2017. In one study, for example, researchers found couples that reported boredom during their seventh year of marriage were significantly less satisfied with their relationships nine years later[iv].
Failure to Communicate Effectively
In regard to these gloomy figures Mr Simon Neo, marriage counsellor at The Psychotherapy Clinic, points out that a key reason for broken marriages is a failure to communicate. He highlighted that “couples these days don’t know how to articulate expectations of each other. It comes out in defensiveness and contempt, and they are too busy fighting. The hectic schedule here contributes to it[a failed marriage] too.”
Perfectly ImperfectThe difference between a romantic relationship and any other relationship is that your other half most likely knows everything about you. However, despite knowing each other’s imperfect spots, it is important to remember that a real relationship is where two people who know that they are not perfect do not give up on each other. Your other half will have seen you at your most embarrassing times, at your goofiest, and at your weakest moments. This person will have seen you through your best times and your worst times.
A good relationship means happiness for both parties. When you have been in a relationship for a while, you can get used to the routines that you and your significant other have. But never forget to be a little romantic on a regular basis. You never want to feel that flame fizzle out because you forgot to rekindle the fires. No matter how great the chemistry is, you will always need to make an effort to keep things fun, romantic, and interesting. You cannot get a relationship started and then hope that it will run itself successfully. The two people in the
relationship both need to make an effort to make the relationship a great one. Here are some useful relationship quotes on popular love website Luvze[i]
45. When you are in a real relationship, you never have to pretend to be someone that you’re not.
46. When two people in a relationship really care about each other, they will find a way to make things work.
72. I want the kind of relationship where people look at us and say, I want what they have.
90. We all deserve someone who loves us even when we are not at our best.
Communication is Key
A good relationship doesn’t just happen overnight. No relationship is perfect, but a great relationship is worth the work. To keep romantic partnership in good working order, talk openly. Communication is a key piece of healthy relationships. Healthy couples make time to check in with one another on a regular basis. It’s important to talk about more than just parenting and maintaining the household. Try to spend a few minutes each day discussing deeper or more personal subjects to stay connected to your partner over the long term.
From time to time, it is always a good idea to reflect about what relationships mean to me. Ask yourself the following questions. What does the other person in your relationship mean to you? How does this person contribute to the relationship and how do they make you feel? How often are you communicating these feelings and thoughts to this person? Always ask your partner how you can make the relationship even better. Never settle for good enough. Put all of your effort in, even when you already have the relationship.
A good relationship doesn’t just happen overnight. No relationship is perfect. However, a great relationship is worth the work- work needed to prevent deterioration of your marriage or to enhance the relationship. Sometimes there are challenges that arise in your marriage, but if you think your relationship is worthwhile, you will put in effort to seek help and to save your marriage. Some people go through counselling sessions. Some read up to find out what can be done, others seek a relationship coach who can charge a few hundred dollars per hour. There are others who seek help online from courses or materials develop by relationship coaches. You may be wondering how expensive that can be. Fret not, for there are actually much cheaper options than going for marriage counselling sessions and definitely cheaper than having face to face sessions with a relationship coach. These featured courses not only cost much less, but have a high success rate.
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A happy marriage will bring great happiness in life. It is priceless! If you can spend so little to obtain such great happiness, why are you hesitating?
You decide which one you like!